Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Randomize
