I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize