Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Less talking, more tequila
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
