My entire life is one complicated drinking game
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
