You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
