is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
