I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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