where am i from again
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
