I feel like abortions should bother me more
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
