apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Randomize
