So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
