if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Randomize
