i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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