Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Randomize
