I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
