There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
how do you play pong handcuffed?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
Randomize