My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
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