you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
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