Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
how does that bad decision feel?
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
