drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
