I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
