Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I'm getting married
To pizza
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
