literally had 100 drinks last night.
he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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