Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
