I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
