Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
