Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Randomize
