So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Enjoy the penises
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Randomize
