I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
