I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Non-Jews are for practice
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize