Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
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