How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I think I have vodka in my lungs
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
Couch. On fire.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
