mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
as a side note pls kill me
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
Randomize
