Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
