im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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