: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
