ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
my liver is dry heaving
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
He's on the porch naked. Help.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize