YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
