I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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