I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
