i just made my gag reflex go away.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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