i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
