The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize
