ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
