STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
Randomize
