At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
