you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
he puts the penis in happiness.
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
