My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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