Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
