Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
