theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
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