I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize