so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
porn star boner night. come get it.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
