The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Randomize
