ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
