Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
