listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
