If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
