You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
