everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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