Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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