I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
